


In Retrospect

by nerdyneed



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Baby daddy Ben Solo, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Fuckbuddies, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Kink, Queer Rey, Single mom Rey, Slow Burn, fuckbuddies with feelings, more like friends to lovers to exes to friends to fuckbuddies to coparents to lovers, sperm donor au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:53:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27209944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdyneed/pseuds/nerdyneed
Summary: Rey's perfect life plan was simple: get her bachelor’s degree, meet a nice guy, fall in love, complete her master’s, get a well-paying job, get married, and have kids by 30.So far, she had the job and the degrees, but her time was running out with the kids bit.When she moves back home after a decade away and runs into her high school ex, Ben Solo, life just happens to work out for her. He presents the perfect opportunity: a child of her own without the drama of a romance. It's only an added bonus that he turns out to be the best fuckbuddy of her life while they're trying to get her knocked up.It's all just some innocent fun before the baby comes around.Right?
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 13
Kudos: 120





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> No, this is NOT inspired by a TikTok. Why would you ask that?
> 
> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJaXJRYG/
> 
> First chapter of this new story! Let me know if you like it and want more! I have no clue how long it will be or how often I will update, so bear with me.
> 
> Side Note: I had to delete my Twitter for personal reasons, so if you lost contact, I'm sorry!! My inbox here on AO3 is always open! 
> 
> Anyway! Enjoy!

When she was in her late teens, fresh out of the foster care system and heading to MIT, Rey’s plan had been simple: get her bachelor’s degree, meet a nice guy, fall in love, complete her master’s, get a well-paying job, get married, and have kids by 30. So far, she’d accomplished the degrees and the job, but everything else was lacking. She had partners in college, but none of them were very serious.

She was 31 now, and she was beginning to have somewhat of a midlife crisis. Her work took all her attention until she realized she was utterly alone in her giant, empty apartment in the city.

She bought a house close to the neighborhood she grew up in and began moving her things in toward the end of the July. It was much hotter at home than in Boston, so she began to regret deciding to move all her stuff by herself. She was standing on her front steps, glaring at the rest of her belongings in the back of the truck wondering if it would be totally uncalled for to change into her bikini, since it’s the only way she could be wearing less clothing. As it was, she was burning up in her white tank-top and cutoff shorts.

That’s when she heard the whistle.

“Looking good, neighbor!”

She turned, hackles raising, ready to lay into whoever decided now was a good time for catcalling. Then she stopped short when she saw who it was. “Poe?”

It was him, for certain. He was a little grayer and more muscular than the last time she’d seen him, but she would recognize her childhood best friend’s face anywhere. He grinned at her, still as bright as it had been a decade ago. “Hey, sunshine.”

“Poe!” She let out an incredulous laugh and bounced into his waiting arms. “What are you doing here?”

He picked her up in a hug the way he did when they were teenagers, though now he groaned under her weight. “I could ask the same of you, hot shot.” He set her back on her feet and held her at arm’s length to look at her. “God damn. You look fantastic. Boston looks good on you.”

She punched his arm. “Had to do something to pass the time without you and Finn around to clean up after.” She looked behind him, down the sidewalk. Finn wasn’t there, but a tall man was leaning against a nice-looking old truck that seemed vaguely familiar to Rey. “Is he with you? Is he here?”

“Finn’s at work,” Poe said, fondness coloring his voice. “He’ll be thrilled to know you bought the place next door. He was crushed when Mrs. Castillo moved—she made the best lemon bars.”

“Married life looks good on you,” Rey said, echoing his own words back to him.

A smitten little smile crossed his face, the same one he had the say he and Finn said their vows. That was the last time she’d seen them, at Finn and Poe’s wedding after they all finished undergrad. Her heart twinged with the weight of all the years she missed. He must have caught the brief flash of pain across her face, so he said, “Listen, do you have plans this weekend?”

“I just moved, and you and Finn are the only friends I have here so… I think I can move some engagements around.”

He rolled his eyes. “We’re having a cookout at our place on Saturday.” He jerked his head behind him to the house next to hers. Much like her own, it was two stories, with bright-colored shutters on the windows and a little fence around the front yard. It was nauseatingly suburban. She loved it. “A bunch of folks we grew up with are still around, so I invited them. Then there’s a few new people to the area we extended the invite to. It’s all adults. We’re having booze and burgers. Would that be anything you’d be interested in?”

She grinned. Their little friend group spent most of their late-teens bouncing from house to house, swiping beer from parents or older siblings. The brief period where Rey had dated Ben Solo had been the best. He was a dick, but he was a total pushover whenever Rey would press up against him and smile and his parents were chill. They spent every weekend and even a few weeknights sitting in the woods behind his house with mostly cold Bud Light pressed between their hands. It was worth tolerating Solo’s _Fountainhead_ -esque rants for a few weeks.

“Of course I’m interested,” Rey said. “Can I bring anything?”

“Nah,” Poe said. “You’re just moving in. Can’t ask you to do that. Speaking of, do you need some help getting all this inside?”

Rey considered for a moment. It was still a few hours until sunset, but at the rate she was working, she would have to pay another day for the moving truck. She wasn’t strapped for cash, but she didn’t want to pay more than she had to. Besides, it would be nice to spend more time catching up with Poe.

“Only if you want to help.”

Poe smiled and shrugged. “It shouldn’t take very long. Especially with Ben helping out.”

Rey blinked. “Ben?”

“Yeah. We were supposed to go back to the garage, but I’m sure he won’t mind helping out.” He turned around and beckoned to the guy leaning against the old truck and _oh God_ now Rey knew why that truck looked so familiar. She spent countless evenings crammed in the stupid bench seat, her legs wrapped around a scrawny waist and hands twisted into dark hair. The first time she’d tried to drive stick had ended in her ramming the already dented bumper into someone’s mailbox. She’s also 90 percent sure she left her favorite lip gloss in the glove compartment, oh _God._

The words were coming out of her mouth before she could stop them, loud and unbidden. “ _That’s_ Ben Solo?”

Unfortunately, Ben had detached himself from his dad’s ’76 Blazer Chalet and was only a few feet away. She hadn’t recognized him because he’d _somehow_ gotten even taller since he was 18, and his hair flowed down to his chin in charming curls. In his teens, he’d been stick-thin, all angles that always found a way to jab into Rey at the most inopportune times. Now he was… well, for lack of a better phrase, he was _jacked_. The man was a mountain. He’d finally grown into his nose. Wow. Okay. All of that was kind of unfair.

Then he smirked, the same cocky expression from his youth, and the spell was broken. “This is Ben Solo.”

Rey crossed her arms. “Ben,” she said—not a greeting, but an acknowledgement, at least.

He crossed his arms too, and the button-up he was wearing (Why was he wearing a button up? Didn’t he know it was July?) strained over his biceps. “Rey.”

Poe socked Ben in the shoulder. “Stop peacocking. We’re helping her move her stuff.”

Ben scanned her house with keen eyes, and although there was nothing to hide, Rey felt like he was trying to find every single flaw in the façade. “You’re renting?”

“Buying,” Rey corrected, with only a little pride.

Ben raised his eyebrows, not really impressed, but surprised at least. Poe shoved a cardboard box into his arms. “Come on,” Poe grumbled, grabbing a box for himself. “The quicker you work, the quicker you can get back to the garage.”

Rey grabbed one of her boxes as well—one marked “Kitchen?”—and followed them up her steps to her door. “Garage?” she asked, toeing the door open carefully so she didn’t tip the kitchen(?) supplies onto the ground.

“Solo and I are in business together, actually,” Poe said, squeezing past her in the entry hall to get to the living room.

“Business?” Rey led them into the main floor of her house—open-concept living, dining, and kitchen with high ceilings and a bay window facing the street. There wasn’t any furniture beyond an empty china cabinet the previous owner left, but it was certainly a step-up from her penthouse in Boston.

“Dad retired a few years ago,” Ben said. He bent down to put the box on the floor, and Rey looked away before she could be tempted to admire the way his jeans stretched over his— “Instead of taking over full-time, I brought on Poe as partner. Now we’re D&S Towing and Repair.”

“D&S?” Rey looked at Poe. “How much did you pay him to let _your_ initial come first?”

Poe widened her eyes comically at her. “You don’t want to know. There’s a reason Finn and I don’t have kids yet.”

Rey burst out laughing as Ben rolled his eyes at them. Things had changed so much, but at the core, they were the same people they were all those years ago.

A few days later, she found herself in Poe’s backyard, a few drinks past tipsy with her feet kicked up on the firepit. All around her, voices both new and familiar wove in and out of conversation. It was still mostly light out, so she could clearly make out the faces around her.

Rose Tico and her wife—whose name Rey had already unfortunately forgotten—were sharing a deck chair, giggling into the drinks they kept passing back and forth. Poe mentioned that this was their first “adult” outing since their second child was born. Rose was the only real girl friend Rey had growing up. It was weird to see her all married and parental.

Poe and Finn were there, of course. Finn was tending the grill while Poe switched between mingling with their guests and hugging Finn from behind, whispering things to him that made him stab at Poe with his tongs. Rey had been with them still when they got together their senior year of high school, so it was less weird to see them all couple-y.

A few other people Rey recognized from high school, but names or stories evaded her. She’d arrived a bit later than everyone else, despite living next door—it had taken her a little while to psych herself up. Poe had thrown an arm around her shoulders, already smelling like beer, and announced, “Hey everyone! It’s Rey!” The responding cheer was mainly out of response to Poe’s enthusiasm than to recognition of Rey, but the attention made her duck her head regardless.

And Ben was hovering nearby, being more social than he had been when they were younger, but still generally annoying Rey with his presence.

“So, Rey.”

She looked away from where she’d been looking in Ben’s direction. Rose’s wife, who was only a little more sober-looking than Rose herself, was grinning her way. “Yes?” Rey said.

“Are you seeing anyone?” Rose’s wife asked, twirling a piece of Rose’s soft black hair between her fingers. She wiggled the fingers of her other hand at Rey. “I don’t see a ring on your finger.”

“Uhh, no,” Rey looked down the neck of her beer bottle, suddenly interested in the little bubbles rising to the surface. “No, not seeing anyone.”

“You’ve gotta have stories, though, right?” Rose asked. “You spent, what? Ten years in Boston? Did you meet anyone interesting?”

“I was only in Boston for the past four years, actually. I was at school in Cambridge for the rest.” Rey took a swig of beer, swishing it around in her mouth for a second for the distraction. “Dating-wise, no. I haven’t met anyone story-worthy. I don’t know if you’ve met a man from Massachusetts, but they’re as bland as bran.” She went to take a sip but paused. “I did meet a drag king from Springfield, once. Oh, he was _fun_.”

Rose’s eyes went wide. “You slept with a drag king? Are—are you…”

Rey shrugged. “I’m queer.” She hadn’t meant to come out tonight—she hadn’t really prepared herself that evening—but it was easier with other LGBT folks and booze. “I’ve mainly been with men, but I finally figured out the rest when I was in undergrad.”

Rose’s wife let out a mighty _whoop_. “God, it’s nice to meet another individual of the sapphic persuasion who I’m not married to.”

Rose elbowed her. “Tallie, some people don’t like the same labels as us.”

Rey waved her off. “I’m cool with anything, really. I haven’t really figured things out in the label department, but I don’t feel like it matters as much. I usually just stick with _queer_ and people don’t ask questions.”

“Right on, sister!” Rose’s wife—Tallie—raised her drink to Rey.

“What are your plans, then?” Rose asked.

Rey shrugged again and tipped her head back so it nearly hung off the back of her lawn chair. “I got a great job back here. I’m making pretty much what I made in Boston but the cost of living is way lower. It’s nice to be back home, though. I told myself I’d never come back when I graduated high school—shitty home life, and all. But I don’t know. I feel like something was calling me back here. Ehh. Saying it out loud sounds dumb. Ignore me.”

“No, no. I get it,” Rose said. “We were the same way. We wanted to move after the wedding, but we just ended up settling here. And it feels right.”

“Yeah,” Rey said, finishing off her beer. She was glad someone understood where she was coming from.

Tallie spoke up, “Besides, there are plenty of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes around here still. You may have to dig into the dregs a little, but you’re not alone.” She squinted over Rey’s shoulder with something close to distain in her eyes. “Speaking of dregs. Hello, Ben.”

Rey turned to see Ben settle himself on the low rock wall directly beside her, two fresh beers in his hands. “Tallie,” he said. “Rose. Rey.” He offered the second beer to Rey, and she took it gratefully. She hates talking about her relationship status without a drink in her hand. “What were we talking about?”

“Rey’s sex life,” Tallie said.

Rose snorted. “Or lack thereof.”

“There was a drag king.” Tallie pursed her lips at Ben. “Sorry you missed it.”

Ben shrugged and took a sip of his beer. “None of my business.” Rey hid her smile in her beer.

“Could be though,” Tallie said. Rey didn’t like the look in her eye. “Ben, you’re single. You two used to date, once upon a time.”

“Okay,” Rey said, jumping to her feet. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

She didn’t need to go, but she needed a reason to get up and keep her tipsy brain quiet. She used the bathroom regardless and splashed some water on her face.

She forgot how draining it was to be single around non-single people. They all thought it was their duty to un-single the single people, no matter if they got along or not. Rey and Ben broke up for a reason, all those years ago. Rey couldn’t quite remember what that reason was, but it must have had something to do with how incompatible they were. Ben was—well. He was Ben Solo.

Rey had come to a decision around the same time she decided to move back home. The romance and the spouse were nice ideas, but they weren’t her end goal. After so many unfortunate experiences, she’d come to terms with the fact that she may not be built for marriage. She was, however, determined to have kids.

One of her friends in Boston recommended a clinic in her hometown. She hadn’t set her appointment yet, but the business card was still tucked inside her phone case.

Maybe it was silly, to dream of having a kid while she had no partner in sight. But she’d been imagining what it would be like for years. She knew her time was running out. She had until her mid-40s at the latest; she couldn’t hedge her bets on finding someone to give her a kid.

Rey started to laugh. God damn it. She had sobered up a little in the bathroom, but she was drunk. These were the thoughts of a drunk girl in her friends’ guest bathroom.

She washed her hands and went back outside. Her beer was getting warm, so she took a few more sips. Finn was serving up the burgers, and most everyone around the yard had a plate already.

Poe slipped a paper plate into her hands and clinked his bottle against hers with a grin. “It’s good to have you back, kiddo.”

She smiled back, feeling a little misty eyed as she made her way back over to the fire pit. Ben—the bastard—had taken her seat, so she sat on the rock wall between him and Rose. Tallie had left to get more drinks, so Rey scooched closer to Rose. “You asked me what my plans are.”

Rose looked up at her, still chewing her burger. “Yeah? Anything exciting?”

Rey took a breath, looking down at her plate. She didn’t really want the burger. She only look it because Poe gave it to her. “I’m going to have a kid.”

Rose’s eyes widened before flicking between Rey’s face and her stomach. “You’re—oh my God, Rey! Why didn’t you tell—Why the hell are you _drinking_ , oh my—”

“No! No,” Rey chuckled. “I’m not pregnant. Not yet. I’m looking for a donor.”

“Looking?”

Rey set her plate down on the wall beside her and fished the little business card out of her phone case. She handed it to Rose. “I’m making an appointment soon. I’m tired of waiting for the right person to come along, or whatever. I just want to be a mom, without all the stress of a spouse or a partner or something.”

Rose’s face softened as she looked at the card. “Rey,” she said. She looked close to tears. “That’s so sweet. I love you so much. You’re going to be a great mom.”

“You think so?”

“Definitely.” Rose smiled brightly at her, reaching over to grab Rey’s knee. “When Tallie and I adopted Ruka, I thought I would never get it right. I was always mixing up mealtimes and diaper sizes and forgetting to start the laundry. You have the natural… I don’t know. You _seem_ like a mom. Does that make sense?”

Rey chuckled. “No but thank you for the vote of confidence.”

Rose giggled and turned in her chair to fully face Rey. “So, have you picked your donor yet? Tallie and I took ages looking for a donor for Maya. We didn’t know what we wanted. But maybe we can help you figure things out, since we’ve been through it before?”

“That would be fantastic.” Rey squeezed Rose’s hand where it sat on her knee. “I just worry, you know? There’s only so much you can learn from the paperwork they give you. It’s not like I’m going to know if the guy has a history of psychosis or like… a tendency toward cannibalism or something.”

“Have you considered asking someone you know?”

“Oh, gods no,” Rey said.

“Why not? Then you’ll know everything you need to know about them. No nasty surprises when Rey Junior grows up.”

“The whole point is that I don’t want the relationship. At least, I don’t want to force someone into a relationship with me because they got me pregnant.” She sipped her beer in thought. “In the future, if I start seeing someone, they’ll just have to be cool with my kid. I can’t keep waiting for the ‘right person’ to come around. I’m 31, Rose. I’ve got, what? Nine years? I can’t wait to meet someone, convince them to marry me, then convince them to knock me up or find a donor. Why not just skip to the part I really want?”

Rose nodded slowly. “Will that make you happy?”

“It will,” Rey said, and it wasn’t a lie. “I want to be a parent so badly. My parents gave up on me, and my foster families were—well, they were shit. I just want a kid— _one_ kid—to grow up knowing they’re loved. Knowing someone wants them.” She stared into the fire for a long moment, watching the flames overtake the little logs that had been stacked in the pit. “I’ll adopt after the first. I want to help as many kids as possible. And if I can’t.” She stopped and took a deep breath. “If I can’t have biological children, I’m adopting as soon as I can.”

Tallie came back, then, and handed her wife a piece of watermelon. “Might want to get on that. The application takes forever. I think they put you through like seven different committees before they even consider you for an interview.”

“Tallie,” Rose chided. “Not the time. This is encouragement time.”

Tallie shrugged. “Doesn’t make it not true.”

“My love,” Rose said, turning to her wife and batting her eyelashes. “Will you do me a favor?”

Tallie looked skeptical, but she bent down so Rose could whisper in her ear. Rey couldn’t hear what she said, but Tallie straightened quickly and nodded before walking away.

“What was that about?” Rey asked when Tallie had left.

“I have a proposition for you,” Rose said.

“I don’t like that look in your eye. That’s the way you looked at me when you convinced me to break into the Westons’ backyard to skinny dip in their pool.”

“You don’t want some random donor.”

“What? But you just said—”

“I know what I said,” Rose said, rolling her eyes. “An anonymous donor worked for us, but I don’t think it would work for you. You overthink everything too much. You’ll never stop stressing about every little thing that might have been left out of the paperwork. You need someone you can trust not to be a secret psychopath.”

Rey squinted at her. She wasn’t wrong, exactly, but she was concerned with the direction she was going. “What’s your proposition?”

“Tallie’s getting you tequila.”

Rey blinked. “Why do I need tequila?”

“I know who you should ask to be your donor. Your non-anonymous donor.”

“Okay. Fine. I’ll bite. Who are you recommending?”

Rose cut her mirth-filled eyes to the side, and Rey knew who she was looking at before she even turned.

Ben was turned around in the chair that was once Rey’s laughing with someone behind him. She took in his profile—strong nose, sharp jaw, great hair. His arm was slung over the back of the chair, and his t-shirt showed off the strong muscle definition he’d grown over the years working in the garage with his father and Poe. She knew he wasn’t messed up, at least not seriously. He was a bit narcissistic, but at least he was intelligent. He had a good sense of humor. His parents were amazing, so maybe the asshatery skips a generation.

And she couldn’t help but picture a baby with her hazel eyes and Ben’s dark curls.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want you to be my donor.”
> 
> Ben blinked. “Do you need a kidney or something? Are you sick? Does anyone else know?”
> 
> “No, no,” Rey said. She looked away and huffed out a laugh. “Oh god. I can’t believe I’m asking you this.” She looked him dead in the eye, sitting straighter with tequila courage. “I want you to be my sperm donor. I want to have a baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two for you! It's a little shorter than the first. Be prepared for chapters of varying lengths because I have no self control!
> 
> Let me know what you think/where you want things to go.
> 
> Kudos and comments appreciated. <3

“Ben?” Rey continued staring for a few moments before turning back to Rose. “No. No way. I couldn’t. I can’t. _He_ wouldn’t.”

  


“I think he would,” Rose countered. “He asks about you often. He was smitten with you when we were kids. He would do whatever you asked.”

  


“No. I couldn’t ask that of him.”

  


“Trust me.” Rose patted her hand. “He may not be in love with you anymore, but he would do it in a heartbeat. For you.”

  


She looked back to Ben and found him looking at her. He caught her eye and smiled. It wasn’t the cocky smirk she knew. It was the smile he gave her when they were kids, stealing kisses in the stairwell at school. She remembered he told her once, not long into their relationship, that he’d always been in love with her, even when they were little. It had scared her, and although she couldn’t remember the details, she was pretty sure it was the beginning of the end of their relationship.

  


Was Rose right? Would he do it if she asked?

  


“Listen,” Rose said. “You don’t have to. I don’t want to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to so. But he’s a good man. He comes from good stock. Besides, your kid could do much, _much_ worse in the looks department.”

  


Rey snorted. She wasn’t wrong there.

  


Tallie returned then, a red Solo cup—yes, she saw the irony there—in hand. She held it out to Rey, eyebrows raised.

  


Rose looked anxiously between the cup and Rey, waiting for her to take it.

  


A thousand things flew through her mind in that moment. She definitely should be making this decision with a clear mind, but there was no going back.

  


She grabbed the cup from Tallie and threw its contents back in one strong gulp.

  


She didn’t really remember walking over to Ben. Next thing she knew, she was sitting on the low rock wall beside Ben and he was turning his chair to face her. Their knees were pressed together like that, and the height of the wall put Rey eye-to-eye with Ben. He was looking at her curiously, waiting for her to speak.

  


So she planted her hands on her knees and said, “I want you to be my donor.”

  


He stared at her for a long moment. Rey watched his eyes flick all over her: eyes, lips, hands, chest. It wasn’t an appraising glance, though. He mainly looked like he expected her to run away. “I’m not sure I’m following.”

  


“I want you to be my donor.”

  


Ben blinked. “Do you need a kidney or something? Are you sick? Does anyone else know?”

  


“No, no,” Rey said. She looked away and huffed out a laugh. “Oh god. I can’t believe I’m asking you this.” She looked him dead in the eye, sitting straighter with tequila courage. “I want you to be my sperm donor. I want to have a baby.”

  


He looked truly stunned. Rey reveled in the satisfaction of it before she realized he was about to say no.

  


“I don’t want you to be the father, though,” Rey said. Ben raised an eyebrow. “No, I mean. I want you to be the _father_ but not the _dad._ I’ll raise it—them—myself, but I just need you to… you know. Get the ball rolling, so to speak.”

  


“Why not get an anonymous donor?”

  


“I will, if you say no.” Rey waved a hand in Rose’s direction, where she and Tallie were watching unashamedly. “Rose just suggested… I trust you. If I get an anonymous donor, I don’t know what I’m getting into. I won’t know all the risks or the concerns. The kid could come out and be a—a rapist, or a tyrant, or a Scientologist or something.”

  


Ben snorted but leaned forward in his chair to rest his elbows on his knees. He now sat much closer to Rey, their faces only inches apart. “Okay. Then why me? Why not Finn or Poe? Why not someone else you know?”

  


That was a good question. Rey wasn’t really sure of the answer herself, so she said, “I don’t think either of them could handle knowing they had a kid and not being a part of their life in any way other than ‘Mama’s cool friend.’”

  


“So that’s what I would be?” Ben asked. “Just a friend?”

  


“We could tell them, if you want. But if they know who you are, it might make it… weird? I don’t know. I’ve never asked my friend to be my sperm donor before.”

  


“Really?” A little smile worked its way across Ben’s face. “You don’t do this often? You seem pretty practiced in all this. You had me sold.”

  


Rey nearly jumped to her feet. “You’re sold?”

  


Ben smiled and rolled his eyes a little. “Yes. I’ll do it. Just give me specifics. I’d rather not just… put it in a jar. I’d rather…”

  


“You’d rather…”

  


Ben shook his head, scratching one of his ears in a nervous tick Rey recognized from their childhood. “Well, I’d rather put it directly in you, if you catch my drift.”

  


Rey doubled over in giggles, more than a little flustered and hearing Ben chuckling as well. God, this was ridiculous! “Right,” she said. She sat back upright and wiped tears from her eye. “Right, yeah. I could be amenable to that.”

  


“Okay,” he said. “So do you want to, like, now, or?” He was bouncing his knee in barely contained excitement.

  


She put her hand on his knee to still the incessant shaking. “Not now,” she laughed, shaking her head. “I’m afraid we’ve both had a bit too many beers to justify it tonight.”

  


“Shame,” he said. His hand landed on hers on top of his knee. She looked down at the warm touch: his hand engulfed hers, pale against her tan skin. His fingers traced the lines of her wrist bones and tendons, both familiar and new to each other.

  


She took a deep, steadying breath, and stood suddenly to prevent herself from going back on her own words. “So,” she began, not knowing where that sentence was supposed to end. She forgot how close they were sitting, so she was now trapped, standing awkwardly between his legs while he looked up at her, smirking again. She wanted to hit him. Instead, she stepped over one of his legs, clearing her throat as she righted herself a few steps away. “Right. Besides, we need to talk logistics. We should probably even get a contract of some sort drawn up. To deal with, you know… custody issues, and…”

  


“Rey,” Ben said.

  


She looked anywhere but him. Her plan failed when she caught Rose’s eye and blushed when Rose gave her a thumbs up. Staring at her shoes it was, then.

  


“Rey.” He grabbed her hand and tugged to catch her attention. She stopped squirming and looked at him. The teasing was gone from his gaze. Instead, his warm brown eyes gazed up at her earnestly.

  


She swallowed to steady her voice. “Yes?”

  


“We will talk about this later,” Ben said. “When we’re both sober, and eager ears aren’t listening in.” He looked over to where she knew Rose and Tallie were watching them without shame.

  


“Thank you, Ben,” Rey whispered. She tugged her hand free and wrung her fingers together. “Really. Thank you. I don’t know how to tell you… I’ll have to get you a fruit basket or something.”

  


Ben snorted. “That won’t be necessary.”

  


“No, really,” Rey said. “You have no clue how much this means to me. I’ve wanted a kid for—for years, but none of my relationships have felt right. I feel like time is running out for me, with the whole… body clock, or whatever they call it. I could get an anonymous donor, but… I’m much more comfortable. With you.”

  


“I’m glad,” Ben said. “And you really don’t have to thank me. I know things ended… poorly, for us. But I still consider you a friend. Even if we haven’t spoken since…”

  


Rey nodded slowly. “Finn and Poe’s wedding, I believe.”

  


“Oh yeah,” Ben said. He grinned again. “I asked you to dance. You said…”

  


“I said no,” Rey said with a chuckle. “Sorry about that. I think I was still sore about the breakup.”

  


Ben huffed. “ _You_ broke up with _me_! And we were both 18!”

  


“Did I?” Rey thought for a moment. “Yeah. I guess I did break up with you. In my head I think it was more of a mutual agreement. Hmm. Sorry about that.” She suddenly wished she hadn’t left her beer over by Rose.

  


He waved a dismissive hand. “I’m over it. Besides, I think the reason you gave was something about not wanting me to hold you back at school. Guess you accomplished that. So…”

  


Rey nodded, looking away again. “Yeah. Guess I did.”

  


A sudden blast of music saved Rey from further reply. She and Ben looked over to see Poe standing over a stereo he must have saved from their childhood. He was nodding his head along to the early-2000’s hits he’d turned on. When he was happy with the absurd volume he set, he grabbed Finn from the lawn chair he’d settled in and began spinning him in a drunken waltz around their yard. A few other folks joined in, dancing in pairs or clusters.

  


Ben levered himself to his feet and held out a hand to Rey. “Are you going to say no this time?”

  


Rey looked at his hand for a moment before following the line of his arm, past his shoulder, and up to the sweet little smile on his face. Then she reached out and took his hand, squeezing it tightly. “No.”

  


He smiled wider, then pulled her over to an empty patch of grass to dance along to what Rey was fairly certain was Ke$ha.

  


She followed, laughing, and managed to snatch her half-empty beer bottle from Rose’s waiting hand as she passed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Alright, alright,” she grumbled loudly as she approached the entry hall. “I hear you! Jesus, can’t you two grant a girl some peace first thing in the morning?” She yanked the door open and winced at the sunlight pouring in even through her closed eyelids.
> 
> “Hate to break it to you, but it’s two in the afternoon.”
> 
> Hmm. That wasn’t Finn or Poe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinking of renaming this "People Having Weird Conversations While Eating and Drinking Various Things." 
> 
> It seems to be a theme.

Rey woke to the most annoying alarm ever.

  


She fumbled for her phone before she realized the noise wasn’t her regular alarm. It wasn’t coming from her phone at all. It was coming from the house itself.

  


Right. Doorbells were a thing. She made a mental note to rip out its wiring as soon as she got the chance.

  


She dragged herself out of bed—which currently didn’t have a headboard yet, but at least she had a bedframe and a mattress. She stumbled a little when she got upright, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes to stop the throbbing behind them. It felt right, somehow, to spend her first weekend back in her hometown hung over.

  


She found her way downstairs mainly by touch and memory, hoping she didn’t trip.

  


It was probably Finn or Poe, repeatedly smashing their fingers against the doorbell to get her to answer faster.

  


“Alright, alright,” she grumbled loudly as she approached the entry hall. “I hear you! Jesus, can’t you two grant a girl some peace first thing in the morning?” She yanked the door open and winced at the sunlight pouring in even through her closed eyelids.

  


“Hate to break it to you, but it’s two in the afternoon.”

  


Hmm. That wasn’t Finn or Poe.

  


She squinted her eyes open to see Ben’s vague outline against her doorframe. “Oh,” she said. “I thought you were the damn neighbors.”

  


“I’d say I’m sorry, but you sound a little relieved.”

  


“I am,” she said, rubbing her face. She was sure she looked like shit, which was unfortunate, but Ben could deal with it. “They’re too much energy first thing in the… afternoon.”

  


“Sorry I woke you, then,” Ben said, not sounding sorry.

  


“Don’t be,” Rey said, leaning against her door to hold it open for him. “Come in. You’re letting all the daytime in.”

  


“I brought coffee, if that makes it any better.”

  


Rey moaned at the thought, trying to convince her eyes to stay open. “It does. Lead me into the kitchen, will you? I know there’s a couch here somewhere, and I’d rather not run directly into it.”

  


He laughed and held out an arm for her to grab onto. “Some things never change, huh? You always got horribly hungover at my parents’ place in high school. I don’t remember how many times I had Dad call your foster family to let them know you were staying over to help with a project in the garage. Once a lightweight, always a lightweight.”

  


She punched the arm she was holding onto as he eased her into one of the barstools at her breakfast bar. “I haven’t gotten drunk like that since… gods, probably since my sophomore year of undergrad. Leave the light off, would you?”

  


“Not too many ragers at MIT?” Ben shuffled around the kitchen, and Rey heard cabinet doors opening and closing. “Where do you keep your pain killers?”

  


“Above the stove.” She pointed in the general direction. “Believe it or not, the engineering kids are pretty tame. Everyone was more focused on not failing Calc 4 or getting an internship with Tesla. We would go out and get drinks every now and then, but nothing like last night.”

  


Ben set something on the counter in front of her and she blinked her eyes open to see a Styrofoam cup of coffee with a couple pills beside it. “Oh, you’re a saint, Ben Solo.” She popped the pills in her mouth and washed them down with a chug of coffee. She swallowed, then looked up at Ben. “You remembered how I take my coffee.”

  


He shrugged, looking a bit uncomfortable in the middle of her half-furnished kitchen. “Lucky guess.”

  


It was warm in her house—she hadn’t paid to have her central air fixed yet—but she wrapped her fingers around the cup anyway, taking in its warmth. She suddenly remembered she was only wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of running shorts she could never justify wearing in public. She crossed her legs to give herself some cover, but she couldn’t really be bothered to put down the coffee and go change.

  


“Oh, uh,” she said. “Welcome to my humble abode.”

  


“I’ve been here before.” Ben looked pointedly around. “I helped you move in. Remember?”

  


“Ah,” she said, ducking her head to hide the heat in her cheeks. “Right. Sorry. Welcome back, then. What brings you to my neck of the neighborhood, then? You’re not my neighbor as well, are you? I don’t think I could handle that many coincidences.”

  


“I’m not. I came to bring you coffee,” he said. He pointed to a paper bag she hadn’t noticed before. “And apple turnovers. Coffee was from Maz’s. I’m afraid the turnovers are from Mom. She heard you were back in town and wanted to make sure you had something good to snack on.”

  


Rey grinned into her coffee. “She never believed me when I told her I was eating enough, even after I went to college.”

  


“Can you blame her?” he asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter. “You were practically translucent until now. It’s good to see you with some… bulk. I’m sorry, was that rude? I didn’t mean to imply… you look great. You look healthy.”

  


She chuckled. “Thank you. That was very flattering. I can hardly tell you never give anyone compliments.” He rolled his eyes but looked slightly less panicked. “I started working out in grad school. Most of my friends moved away so I didn’t have much else to do. The gym membership was much cheaper than buying a load of books, so. Haven’t been able to work out since I started moving, though. I need to find a new gym.”

  


“I can help you there,” Ben said. “There’s one near the garage I think you’d like. It’s pretty small, locally owned. Their fees are better than most chains I’ve seen. That’s where I go.”

  


“I was wondering where all this came from.” She nodded at him to indicate is general… everything. “You can’t get that working in the garage.”

  


“Some of it comes from there, but I still try to pop by a couple times a week to work on the muscle groups I miss in the shop.”

  


“It’s impressive,” she said. “You look great.”

  


She grinned as he blushed a little and sat up straight again. “Listen,” he said, the subject change clear in his voice. “About last night. I don’t know if you remember—you were pretty drunk—but…”

  


She bit her cheek. “No, I remember. I wasn’t that drunk.”

  


“So… is that something… you still want?”

  


She looked at him for a long moment, trying to figure out if he was trying to back out. He just looked genuinely interested, if a little concerned. “I do,” she said. “I just needed the liquid courage to ask you. I actually hadn’t thought about asking you before Rose suggested it, but… it makes a lot of sense. It’s what I want, if you’re okay with that?”

  


“I am,” he said. Rey felt every muscle in her back relax; she had been terrified he was going to turn her down. “That’s why I came. I didn’t know how long you wanted to wait, and you said something about a contract.”

  


She nodded. “The contract can probably wait until… later.”

  


“Later?”

  


“When I’m pregnant.”

  


“Ah,” Ben said, blushing again. “Right. Yes, that makes sense.”

  


“We’ll have a whole, you know, nine months to figure out the legal stuff. For now, we can just focus on logistics.”

  


“Are you sure you want to talk about this now?” Ben said. “I mean, if you’re not feeling well.”

  


She waved him off. “I’m fine. The coffee is helping.” She took another sip, imagining the caffeine soaking into her bloodstream and washing out the alcohol. “I do want to make one thing clear.”

  


Ben nodded. “Alright.”

  


“I just want the baby. I’m not looking for a relationship, or even a co-parent. I want this to be _my_ kid.”

  


Ben furrowed his brow for a moment, taking that in. “Right. I get that. You mentioned that a bit last night. So, I’ll just be…”

  


“Uncle Ben,” Rey said. She’d already been thinking about that. “Or just Ben. When the kid gets older, we can tell them you’re the donor, but I think it would just be confusing if we start off by saying, ‘Hey, this is your father, but not really.’ Kind of defeats the whole purpose. I don’t want them to think they were unwanted, or an accident, or whatever.”

  


“They won’t,” Ben said. “Not with you as a mother.”

  


“Oh,” Rey said, touched. “Do you think so?”

  


“Of course.” He was staring down at the counter between them, unable or unwilling to meet her eye. “I wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t think you’d be an amazing mom.”

  


Rey found herself blinking away tears. “Ben.” She couldn’t say any more than that, so she reached out and grabbed his arm. He must have understood, though, because he gave her a closed-lipped smile and put his hand over hers. They were silent for a few moments while she tried to regain her composure. Finally, she sat back, let go of his arm, and sighed. “Okay. So. Details.”

  


“Yes. Details.” He picked up his coffee and took a long drink. She mirrored him.

  


“I’m on birth control,” she began. “Just the pill. I’m supposed to have my period next week anyway, so I will stop taking it, have my period, and then we can…” She shook her head and laughed at herself. “God damn it. We’re adults. We can start trying the week after next, if that’s alright with you.”

  


He laughed too, looking a little frazzled. “Yeah, that’s fine with me. We’re working on your time here, so.”

  


“It might take a few tries,” she said. “It’s not always a one-and-done deal.”

  


“Fine by me,” Ben said, with only a little grin. “Since we agreed this isn’t a turkey baster ordeal, I’m down for whatever.”

  


Rey giggled. “You know, I’m beginning to think this isn’t as much of a _huge favor_ for you as I thought.”

  


He tilted his head, a little wicked glint in his eyes as he leaned toward her. “Rey. You’re literally asking me to fuck you—multiple times—until I knock you up. You’re cool, you’re successful, you’re _insanely_ hot, and you don’t even want me to take care of the kid. Rey, you could literally tell me you only wanted my sperm to start a crime family, and I would probably still go along with it.”

  


Rey burst out laughing, despite the fact that Ben’s words made her squeeze her thighs together with the sudden rush of heat running though her. God, their kid would be a funny little guy, that’s for sure.

  


“Right,” she said when she recovered. Her face was still hot, so she finished off her coffee to hide it. “Right, I forgot. This is the guy who didn’t talk to me for a week when I told him I wouldn’t suck him off in his dad’s truck after prom.”

  


Ben ran a hand through his hair, looking appropriately ashamed. “Yeah. Sorry about that. High school Ben was a douche. I don’t want to be too forward here. This is all on your terms. You’re calling the shots here. If at any time, you want to stop this, tell me. Even if… even if you get pregnant and decide not to keep it, I’m cool. It’s your body. It’s your kid. You’re in control of all of this. I’m just a… willing participant.”

  


Rey stood to pour herself a glass of water; some combination of the hangover, the coffee, and the conversation left her parched. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner,” she said, grabbing a second glass for Ben. “You’re being so great with this. I don’t think I could have picked a better not-father for my unconceived child.”

  


He smiled and took the glass from her. “And I couldn’t think of a better woman to be the mother of my not-child.” He tossed their empty coffee cups in her trash can.

  


“You know this goes both ways,” she said. “You can back out at any time as well. I mean, you don’t really need to do anything after I’m pregnant, but any time before that… This is a group project kind of thing.”

  


Ben set down the glass of water and raised his right hand. “I, Ben Solo, of sound mind and body, do solemnly swear to call it quits at any point before the conception of the child of one Rey Smith upon the occasion of my own cold feet.”

  


She smiled and copied him, raising her own hand. “I, Rey Smith, of sound mind and body, do solemnly… uhh. Ditto. I solemnly say ditto.”

  


“That didn’t sound very solemn,” he said, letting his hand drop.

  


“It was solemn on the inside,” she said, standing next to him. “So, this is it? We’re going through with this?”

  


“Will it make you happy?”

  


“More than anything.”

  


He stuck out his hand. “Then we’ll do it.”

  


She shook his offered hand, grinning widely. “Deal.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That takes no effort for you, does it?” she said, tucking her face into his neck and allowing herself a moment just to breathe him in and relax.
> 
> He began moving, carrying her to the stairs. “You may have bulked up the past few years, but I’m still, like, three times your size.”
> 
> She leaned back in his grasp to look at him with fake hurt. “Well, that’s a bit of an exaggeration!”
> 
> He stopped walking in the middle of the stairwell, letting her rest on his knee for only a moment. She tried not to grind into his leg while he leaned down to kiss her again. When he was satisfied that she had been sufficiently mollified, he said, “No more lip from you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is looking to be 9-10 chapters. I'm mostly done. No promises for regular updates though. :)

Rey was readjusting to living in town and getting used to being a homeowner. She spent a few nights a week having dinner with Finn and Poe, or Rose and Tallie, or some combination of the four.

She hadn’t told Rose what Ben’s answer had been, but she suspected she knew anyway. But it didn’t seem like she’d told anyone else, considering she hadn’t been teased incessantly about it yet.

She also hadn’t seen Ben in person since he brought her coffee. She was afraid he was going to back out—she’d had a few moments of panic where she’d nearly backed out herself, but it had nothing to do with Ben. Actually, she was much more comfortable considering this with him than she had ever been thinking about getting an anonymous donor. But considering her online shopping cart was full of maternity clothes and bassinets, she was closer to getting what she wanted than she had ever been.

They exchanged numbers and had been texting back and forth for the past week and a half. She’d officially been living in her house for two weeks, and she felt like she was finally adjusting to not being in an apartment. She had been gradually filling her house with all the things she was missing: knick-knacks, bookshelves, end tables. She still needed a dining room table, and she hadn’t even begun to look at the other bedrooms. She didn’t want to get too far ahead of herself, but she’d already begun picking paint colors for the nursery, which she planned to put in the bedroom right beside hers.

Her job was also treating her well. Her supervisor hadn’t realized how overqualified she was, so he had begun training her for a managerial position. She expected a promotion within the next six months. She was beginning to make a few work friends, as well. She’d gone out for drinks a couple times and was beginning to get into her groove.

Basically, she was thriving, and it was all thanks to Ben.

Despite the fact that she was literally paying him with her body—as gross as it was, it was also a little hot—she felt like she needed to do something nice for him. He didn’t seem like the “bake him cookies” kind of man. She tried to remember what he used to like when they were teenagers: video games, cars, girls. Really, he was a simple guy.

Somehow, that made it even harder for her to figure out what to get him.

She was just getting home from work on Friday when her phone buzzed.

**Ben Solo** : _Finished work early today. Have any plans this weekend?_

Rey smiled. She put her bag on the counter and took off her blazer. The weather was still too warm, typical for mid-August, and she hadn’t figured out how to dress business casual in 90-degree heat.

_I think I can clear my schedule. Any ideas?_

She pulled her hair out of her bun and poured herself a glass of water while she waited for his response. He must have been waiting for her reply, because her phone buzzed only a few seconds later.

**Ben Solo** : _A few._

**Ben Solo:** _Can I come over tonight?_

Rey suppressed a girlish squeal and responded as quickly as she could.

_Yes._

_Can I make you dinner?_

**Ben Solo:** _Only if you want to. I’m not really the “Buy me a drink first” type_.

Well. Someone was being forward today.

_I’m feeding you anyway. It’ll be ready around 7:30._

**Ben Solo:** _I’ll see you then._

Rey put down her phone before launching into a very adult happy dance. Maybe it was weird to be so excited about this, but she’d only been dreaming about getting pregnant for years. And Ben was… well, he looked amazing these days. It would _not_ be a chore to sleep with him.

Oh god.

She was going to sleep with Ben Solo.

Tonight.

She opened her fridge to see what she had to make, which turned out to be absolutely nothing. What’s a good food to make before you try to get knocked up? Nothing with garlic or onions, of course. Probably nothing too heavy on carbs or dairy, because _yikes._

She had to go to the store. Oh no, she had to _shave_. She almost wished she had time to wax, but that seemed like overkill. She definitely needed a shower, at the very least. Should she take a vitamin? Would that do anything?

Okay. Focus. Store, then clean the house, then shower.

Rey stopped in the middle of her kitchen, suddenly realizing she had been pacing in circles and talking to herself. She laughed out loud, scrubbing a hand over her face.

Maybe she was too excited for this.

Rey drew the line at lighting candles.

She and Ben had never actually slept together in high school. It had all been painfully PG, nothing that would have even been censored on cable television. That somehow made the whole thing better and worse.

She shaved—thoroughly—and made sure she smelled amazing. She did her hair in loose waves with minimal hairspray, so nothing would catch or get in the way…later. She even repainted her nails so the black polish wasn’t obviously chipped.

She’d settled on making chicken stir fry with rice, and it was on the stove keeping warm. There wasn’t a drop of alcohol in sight, because she didn’t want there to be any questionable circumstances surrounding her child’s conception. There was, however, a low and slow playlist running from her Bluetooth speaker in the living room.

She’d resumed pacing, barefoot in her kitchen. Ben wasn’t late; it was just past 7:00. She was just too wound up to take her time.

Just before 7:20, there was a knock at the door (she had, in fact, disabled her doorbell the week before). Rey stopped breathing for a moment. The knock came again, and she wiped her sweaty hands on the front of her dress before going to the entryway to answer the door.

Ben was standing on her doorstep in jeans and a dark sport coat, grinning with a bouquet of lilies in his hands.

Rey laughed. “Did you stop by on your way to see someone at the hospital?”

He looked at the flowers, suddenly unsure. “Oh. Uh. I wasn’t sure what the procedure is for when you go to your ex-girlfriend’s house to knock her up. I figured flowers was a safe bet.”

“They’re great,” she said, leaning through the door to pull him inside. She wasn’t ashamed, but she didn’t necessarily want certain neighbors to start asking questions.

Seeing that Rey was barefoot, Ben toed off his own shoes and followed her into the kitchen in his sock feet.

“I still don’t have a table, so I hope you don’t mind eating at the breakfast bar,” Rey said. She went to the cabinet under the sink, sure she had seen an old flower vase stuffed back behind the pipes.

“That’s fine,” Ben said, hovering at the entrance to the kitchen. “Let me know when you feel like getting a table. I can help you move in. If you want, of course.”

Rey let out a triumphant “Aha!” and emerged from under the sink with a dusty but passable vase. She filled it with water and took the flowers from Ben. She had to cut the stems to get them all to fit, but once they were all in, she had to admit it looked great on her counter. “Thank you, Ben. They’re lovely.”

“Glad you like them.” Ben deflated a little and slid into one of the stools.

“Hope you like stir fry,” Rey said, picking up a plate to serve Ben. “It’s nothing fancy, but the veggies are fresh.”

“I love stir fry,” Ben said.

She set his plate in front of him. “Drink?”

“Water?”

She grabbed a couple glasses and filled them before getting her own plate and taking the stool beside his. “You said you finished work early. What did you have going on?”

“Poe and I are working together to refurbish this old fishing boat Dad found dirt-cheap in Colorado.” Ben took a bite of the stir fry and hummed. “That’s good. Thanks for feeding me.”

“My pleasure.” Rey grinned a little. “I’d like to swing by and see that boat sometime. Especially if you get it fixed up enough to take out.”

“You’ll be our first passenger, if we ever get it buoyant again.”

Rey snorted. “I’m beginning to see why Han found it so cheap.”

Ben shrugged. “It has its flaws. We’re waiting for some parts to come in and our dealer is out until Tuesday. Other than that, we just had a couple oil changes, flat tires. Standard stuff.”

Rey nodded slowly, taking a few bites of her—not half-bad—stir fry. Ben and Poe’s shop was the only local garage in their little town, so they got good business. Even when Ben’s father, Han, owned it in his hoodlum days, it was the go-to spot in town for anything other than body work. She used to stop by after school to bother Ben while he worked, even before they dated. She liked being surrounded by the smell of motor oil and gasoline. It probably wasn’t healthy, but there was something oddly comforting about filling her lungs with burnt rubber while she sat on the hood of whatever Ben was working on and flicked pebbles at him until he kicked her out.

“Forgive me for asking, because I feel like I should know, but what do you do?”

“Mechanical engineering,” Rey said. She sipped her water and ran her mind over her newest project. “Right now, my team is working with a company trying to develop more efficient biofuel processors for industrial construction.”

“Fancy.” Ben propped his chin on his fist, looking her over lazily. “Good to know there are companies trying to do their part in reducing pollution.”

She shrugged. “It’s more for show than anything. Consumers are getting more environmentally conscious and want to work with producers that ‘care’ for the environment. And there are some pretty great tax deductions for companies that use ‘renewable’ energy sources.”

“No rose-colored glasses on you, huh?”

Rey rolled her eyes with a smile. “Listen. If you met the people I interact with at work, you’d understand where the bitterness comes from. I think once you pass a certain tax bracket, they make you give up your empathy.”

He laughed. “I wouldn’t be surprised, honestly.”

It was nice to talk to Ben again. It was easy, Rey realized. She thought it would be awkward without the alcohol buffer, but even if their conversation was a little stilted, it wasn’t forced. Rey could feel the elephant in the room looming over them, casting a shadow over their mostly empty plates.

Ben must have felt it too, because he said, “So what do we tell other people? If people don’t figure it out while we’re… you know, _trying_ , they’re going to put two-and-two together when your kid comes out with a nose the size of a doorstop on his little face.”

Rey threw her head back laughing and set down her fork. “Fair point,” she said when she recovered. “Well, first of all, I don’t think there should be a public announcement or anything. The best way to confuse this child would be to have the whole town telling them they look just like their father. But we should probably tell the essentials. Close friends. Family, if you feel like they would be okay with that. I’ll let that be your call. I think Rose probably already knows, but I’d like to tell her and Finn and Poe properly. I think any more people than that, and we’re just asking for trouble.”

“And if they ask what our relationship is…”

Rey mirrored his position, resting her cheek on her fist. “We’re friends,” she said.

He raised an eyebrow. “With… benefits?”

She kicked him while crossing her legs. “ _Temporary_ benefits. Only until…”

“Until,” he agreed. There was an odd look on his face, but she didn’t really care to analyze it. Luckily, she was saved by his gaze dropping to her crossed legs, where her bare knee pressed up against his clothed thigh. His free hand fell to his lap, where he gently ran his fingers across her skin. “Are you sure about this?”

She took a deep breath and sat up straighter. “I’m sure. Nervous, but sure.”

A little smile came to his face, that soft, private one she adored. “Is it weird I’m glad you’re nervous? I’m kind of terrified. And only partially because I get to sleep with the girl I pined after for most of my adolescence.”

Rey blushed a little. “I’m right there with you. This is… new.”

“Wait.” Ben sat back, pulling his hand away. “New? Rey, you have slept with someone before, right?”

“Ben!” she cried, laughing again. The pure fear in his eyes swept all the nerves out the window. “Of course I have! I wouldn’t ask you to take my virginity _and_ knock me up in one fell swoop.”

“Oh, thank God.” Ben clutched his chest. “I don’t think I’m a great man, but that’s a bit much, even for me.”

“Not a great man, my ass!” Rey grabbed both their plates and stood to take them to the sink. “Ben Solo, you’re practically a saint in my book.”

She heard him standing with her and following her across the kitchen. “If that’s all it took to get on your good side, I would have knocked you up when we were 18.”

Rey turned to sass him but found him much closer than she expected. She tipped her head back to look him in the eye. She meant to look threatening, but the shake in her voice probably wrecked it all. “I probably would have cut off your balls and fed them to my foster dad’s hunting dogs.”

He leaned forward, pressing her against the sink with his hands braced on either side of her. “You talk to all the guys you bring home like this, Smith?”

She squinted up at him, ready for a challenge. “Only the ones who threaten to impregnate me against my will.”

“How about the ones who offer to do it with your hearty consent?” His voice was low, grating against her nerves in all the best ways. She wondered when he learned to do that, because he certainly hadn’t when they were together.

“Well then,” she said. She reached out and ran her fingertips up his biceps until her arms wrapped around his shoulders. She had to stretch up onto her toes to reach him fully, but she didn’t mind all that much. “I might say something a little nicer to those guys.”

He dipped closer, so she could see the thin little line of gold between the black of his pupils and the brown of his irises. “Yeah? What might that be?”

Rey licked her lips, loving the way his gaze dropped to follow the movement of her tongue. She dipped her voice to almost a whisper, so he had to lean even closer to hear her. “Kiss me.”

The pause between her words and the answering press of lips against hers was basically nonexistent.

She muffled a needy sound against Ben’s mouth as she wound her hands into his hair like she’d been wanting to since the moment she saw how long it had gotten. His hands, warm and welcome, slid around her waist, pulling her closer. His body was hard and unyielding against hers and _wow_ , if this was only the first kiss, Rey didn’t know how she was going to make it through a whole night. Why _hadn’t_ she slept with him years ago? Maybe she knew how immediately addictive it would have been, and she couldn’t stand the thought of not going to MIT and enacting her perfect life plan.

Maybe that’s why it made so much sense for it to be Ben who was helping her finish that tricky final step in her plan.

At some point, their mouths opened to one another, and she felt his tongue against hers. His fingers dug into her sides, and then her feet were off the ground. He hauled her up against him and stepped to the side to deposit her on the counter beside the sink, careful not to knock her head into the cabinets. She was only thankful for his care for a moment, then she realized the new position put her at eye level with Ben, and she couldn’t _not_ take that opportunity.

It had been a long time—a _long_ time—since she was this wound up before any clothes hit the floor. Every part of Ben was intoxicating. His fingers, trailing up her sides, around her back, fisting in her dress. The hard press of his body against her, thick and warm. His mouth on hers, insistent and giving all at once. Even his smell—some combination of good cologne and something underneath that was purely _him_ —was driving Rey up the wall with want.

Upon slinging her legs around his waist to get him closer, she was pleased to discover that he was equally as into it as she was. She was very familiar with the clothed line of Ben’s erection against her from the days of their youth, but that didn’t make it any less thrilling or flattering. It’s not that she secretly thought she was forcing him into this, but it was a good ego boost to know he _really_ wanted her.

Ben’s hand slid from her back down to her knee. He grabbed her there for a moment, fingers hooked perfectly around the bend of her knee. Then he tugged, pulling her closer to the end of the counter with only that one little touch on her leg. She let out a gasp against his mouth and felt his answering grin. Her legs squeezed tighter around him, then his fingers were trailing up her thigh, pushing up the hem of her dress as he went.

“You look so fucking good, Rey,” Ben murmured against her cheek when she pulled away to breathe. His hand was just sitting there, up her skirt on her thigh, not making any more progress. She looked down to see the hem of her dress pooled around his wrist and wondered how she could ask him to move without sounding too desperate.

She settled for making a noise somewhere between a hum and a sign, biting her lip as he moved to kiss along her jaw.

When he reached her ear, he stopped to kiss her earlobe before saying, “How do you want this to go, sweetheart?”

He kept kissing her ear, her neck, her jaw. He was waiting for her response, but she just wanted him to bite down a little. It was all lips on skin, and while it felt heavenly, she wanted nothing more than to feel his tongue on her.

Her legs tightened around him. “Take me to bed?”

And _there_ was the press of teeth she wanted. Ben’s mouth fell open against her throat and began sucking what was sure to be a dark love bite in a little while. Rey arched into the touch, knowing and not caring that she would have to go hunting for her full-coverage concealer later. His name slipped from her lips like water flowing from a fountain.

His hands slipped fully under her dress, reaching around so he was grabbing her ass in both hands over her panties. She choked back a moan at the touch. “Hold on,” he said, then he was lifting her again, just as effortlessly as the first time. Her knees clamped tight around his hips as he bounced her a little to get her in a comfortable grip. The jostling movement shook a little giggle out of her. Her arms tightened around his neck, holding herself to him and trusting him to not let her fall.

“That takes no effort for you, does it?” she said, tucking her face into his neck and allowing herself a moment just to breathe him in and relax.

He began moving, carrying her to the stairs. “You may have bulked up the past few years, but I’m still, like, three times your size.”

She leaned back in his grasp to look at him with fake hurt. “Well, that’s a bit of an exaggeration!”

He stopped walking in the middle of the stairwell, letting her rest on his knee for only a moment. She tried not to grind into his leg while he leaned down to kiss her again. When he was satisfied that she had been sufficiently mollified, he said, “No more lip from you.”

Stunned, she let him continue up the stairs, just looking up at him. His neck was right in front of her, so she took the opportunity to lean forward and sink her teeth in. He grunted as she did so, then he toed her bedroom door open. She only released her grip when he began lowering her onto the bed. She let herself bounce on the bed for a moment as he stood up, towering over her while she lay flat on her back, hands by her head. She wanted to sit up and grab him, pull off his sport coat, but something in his gaze stopped her.

“Oh.” The dark tone he’d taken made her shiver under his heated stare. She could practically feel everywhere his eyes looked, from her bare feet, to her spread thighs, to her disheveled hair, and finally to her face, open and wanting. The corner of his mouth quirked up into a grin, darker and hotter than any she’d seen from him. “I’m going to have so much fun with you.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I never—never considered myself a size queen before this,” Rey said. “May have to reconsider.”
> 
> Ben chuckled, leaning over her a little to look her in the eyes. “You really know how to stroke a man’s ego, you know that?”
> 
> Rey grinned and wagged her eyebrows. “I know how to stroke something alright.”

Rey propped herself up on her elbows to watch Ben undress. His sport coat came first, and she felt a rush of affection toward him when he folded it neatly and hung it over the little ottoman by the closet instead of dumping it on the floor. He came back to the bed, standing over her. His fingers moved quickly by gracefully to unbutton his shirt, which he left open over his bare chest. Next he undid his belt and slid it through his belt loops but left his pants on. He knelt on the floor in front of her and she had to suppress an excited shiver.

His hands slid up her legs again, and he repeated that motion he’d used in the kitchen, pulling her to the edge of the bed with his grip on her knee.

She fell flat on her back with the motion, laughing quietly. “You like hauling me around, don’t you?”

He looked up at her through his lashes, bending down to place a kiss right above her knee. “Don’t act like you don’t love it.”

“I said nothing of the sort.” Her face flushed red. It should have been off-putting, the way he was speaking to her. If it was anyone else, she would have kicked him in the jaw and sent him packing by now. As it was, she smothered a grin on the inside of her arm and gave no resistance as he folded her legs over his shoulders.

“Grab a pillow,” he said, still pressing kisses against the tender skin of her thighs.

She stretched up to do as he said, struggling to reach with him holding her legs firmly in place. Her fingers just barely reached the nearest pillow, and she tugged it down the bed to her. Ben’s fingers drifted up her thighs as she folded the pillow under her head, allowing her the angle to watch his eyes follow the path of his hands.

“Ben,” she said, catching his attention with a gentle press of her toes into the back of his shoulder. He looked up at her, concern creeping past the blatant want in his gaze. “You don’t have to.”

Comprehension dawned on his face, quickly followed by a little bit of irritation—though Rey could tell it wasn’t directed at her. His fingers latched around the waistband of the girliest panties she owned. “Let me.”

It wasn’t necessarily a question, but Rey nodded regardless, relaxing back into the bed while he began tugging her underwear off.

She lifted her legs to accommodate him, keeping her eyes on him to watch his reaction. She wasn’t expecting a bad reaction, obviously—very few straight men would falter at the sight of a wet quim—but the apprehension was there, nonetheless.

Her fears eased when the breath left him in a rush and his hands dug into her thighs, pulling her even closer. “Fuck,” he breathed. “Rey.”

She hummed in response, too distracted by the feeling of his breath between her legs to think up a witty response. Instead, she dug her heels into his back in a silent plea to give her what she wanted.

Without hesitation, he did.

In Rey’s wide but shallow experience, men were typically worse at this than women—Rey would know. But _oh_ , did Ben know what he was doing. She briefly wondered how he got so good at this before a sweep of his tongue from her taint to her clit blew the thought out of her head.

“Ben,” she whispered, afraid to speak any louder. Her back arched lightly without her consent, and her hands found his where he was now gripping her hips. He laced his fingers with hers at the touch, and Rey focused on keeping her cool.

He sucked a kiss right on her sensitive clit, leaving her panting before he moved back to dig his teeth gently into her thigh. She twitched at the bite, but relaxed when he soothed it immediately with his tongue. “Fuck, sweetheart,” he said breathlessly, and Rey really shouldn’t have liked that pet name as much as she did. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get enough of you.”

Then his mouth was back on her, licking into her hole with an eagerness she hadn’t been expecting. The rush of sensation pulled a sharp gasp out of her. He dragged his tongue from her opening back up to her clit, and the combined wetness of her own slick and Ben’s spit made her stomach clench and her toes curl. His movements started slow, but they were firm and steady. She could tell he wasn’t trying to do that “draw the ABC’s” bullshit Cosmo told men to do. He switched between up-and-down flicks of his tongue to quick sucks that kept her on edge. His rhythm was just unpredictable enough that her mouth fell open on a moan and stayed that way.

She started squirming, his ministrations driving her to orgasm more quickly than she expected. “Ben, Ben,” she gasped, half plea and half affirmation.

He pulled away briefly with a wet noise. “Hold still for me, baby.” Then he was bending back down, the heat of his mouth driving her insane.

Rey whined. She tried to obey, she really did, but it had been so long since anyone had made her feel like this. Her hips rocked against him, her legs moving restlessly, trying to get closer and run away all at once. At that point, her ass was hanging off the bed, and she was held up only by her legs on his shoulders and his hands once again clutching her thighs.

_Smack._

She gasped at the sensation then quickly shut her mouth. It wasn’t a hard hit, by any means, but the light sting on her ass cheek sent heat through every inch of her body. She only had the time to glance down her body in shock, only to see Ben looking up at her, eyes smiling as his tongue swept over her clit in quicker strokes.

Fire raced from where he’d slapped her up her spine, and she was coming before she could bite out a warning. Ben’s tongue, steady and torturous, moved with her as she arched sharply, going up on her hands to curl inward on herself. He kept a grip on her, not letting up as the orgasm sent ripples of pleasure from her toes all the way to the roots of her hair. Her brain shut off for a second, her vision whiting out as her body clenched down in rapture.

Then, between one moment and the next, the sensation was too much, and she was trying to pull him off with a firm grip in his hair. “Ben,” she gasped, a sound between a laugh and a sob escaping her as he sucked on her oversensitive clit. “Ben, I came, you can stop—”

But his gaze—and his tongue—were unrelenting. _I know_ , his eyes seemed to say. _That’s the point_.

The laugh/sob continued, and Rey threw her head back. Her fingers were no longer trying to pull him away, but she held onto him for stability as her legs began to shake uncontrollably. His hands wrapped around her thighs, spreading her fully and keeping her steady.

A brief respite came in the form of him dipping down to lick the fresh wave of cum from her hole. She was so slick that she was certain she was dripping on the carpet, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. As soon as Ben moved back up to her clit, she was gasping and moaning anew.

One of her hands fisted in the bedspread for support. There wasn’t really a moment when the sensation stopped being too much, but it couldn’t have been more than two minutes from her first orgasm that she felt herself toeing the line again.

“Ben.” Her back arched and she let out a whimpering moan. “Ben, please.”

She didn’t know exactly what she was asking him for—mercy or release—but it didn’t seem to matter. His fingers tightened on her thighs, his eyes shut, and his brow furrowed in concentration.

“Fuck, Ben. I’m—I—”

He made a noise against her, a hum or maybe a growl, and that was the last straw. Rey threw her head back, every inch of her body taut as a bowstring, and then it all released on a sharp cry.

She wasn’t sure she had ever made that noise before.

Her whole body shook uncontrollably as she sobbed through her second orgasm of the evening. Ben mercifully let her go before she was done cumming, only holding her up as she worked through it. It was both shorter and stronger than the first, and she found herself dizzy in its wake.

She felt Ben’s arms scooting under her as she floated, and he was moving her fully on the bed and climbing after her. When she came back to herself, it felt like only a few moments had passed, but Ben had shed the last of his clothes and was laying on his side next to her. She had unconsciously clamped her legs shut, her own hand against her cunt in a comforting, protective gesture. She should have been embarrassed at that, but seeing Ben’s cock, hard and red against his thigh, pushed her insecurity to the back of her mind.

“Okay?” Ben asked. His hand was trailing up her arm, and she realized with a start that she was still wearing her dress, although it was hitched up around her ribs so only her tits were covered.

“Hmm,” Rey said. She’d meant to make words, but she apparently wasn’t there yet. Instead, she rolled on her side to push her face against his bare chest. She could smell her cum lingering on his skin, and that shouldn’t have been as hot as it was. Her thighs clenched tighter around her hand.

Ben’s arm drew around her, holding her closer as she slowly became human again.

After a few minutes, Rey was no longer shaking, and she could form coherent thought. “Fuck,” she said. Well, okay. _Mostly_ coherent thought.

Ben chuckled, a deep rumble in his chest against Rey’s ear. “As it happens, yes,” he said. His hand trailed down her back, smoothing her dress down to give her a little cover. “Hope that was alright. I read somewhere that you’re more likely to get pregnant if you’re sufficiently relaxed.”

Rey snorted inelegantly against his skin and tipped her head up to look at him. He was a little flushed, but his expression was fond. “Weirdly enough,” she said. “I almost forgot that’s why we’re here.”

His brow dipped a little, and his hand came up to her face. His thumb pressed against her bottom lip, trailing down to hold her chin in a gentle grip. “We can stop now if you’re not feeling up to it. You look worn out.”

“And waste all your hard work?” Rey sat upright, looking down at him and smiling. “Besides, you should take that as a compliment. I don’t remember the last time someone rendered me speechless with only their tongue between my legs.” She reached out and touched his cheek, before catching herself in the overly fond gesture. To save face, she turned her back to him and pulled her hair over a shoulder. “Help me with the zipper, would you?”

She felt the bed shifting as he moved up onto his knees. His fingers were warm and gentle as they brushed her skin. She shivered at the light touch of his hand while he tugged the zipper of her dress all the way down to the small of her back. Then, even though she hadn’t asked, he was sliding his fingers beneath the straps on her shoulders, easing them down her arms. She wasn’t wearing a bra—she had considered it both unnecessary and tedious, given the situation. Every brush of his fingers on her over-sensitive skin left goosebumps in their wake.

The dress pooled in her lap, and instead of getting up to step out of it, Ben grabbed the hem and pulled it up over her head. She didn’t pay attention to where he threw it, because as soon as she was bare, his hands were circling around her, pulling her onto her knees with him. He bent to kiss the top of her spine as her hands settled over his wrists, clutching him tighter as his hands wandered up to her chest from her waist.

“You’re gorgeous,” Ben said, his breath fanning out against her neck.

Rey shivered, not knowing how to respond to such honest praise.

His lips moved in a slow trail up her neck as he finally cupped her chest with his hands. Her head tipped to the side, eyes falling shut at the dual sensations. His mouth finally made it to that amazing spot just below her ear, sending a shudder of delight up her spine as one of her hands came up to grab the back of his head, pulling him closer. His dick was pressed up against

“How do you want me?”

Her eyes blinked open, fluttering in pleasure. “Hmm,” she said, both in thought and delight. “Any way can work, really. But we want—we want gravity to be on our sides, so.”

“I can put you on your back again,” he said, and Rey was nodding before he could finish. She felt him grin against her throat. “Get a pillow under your hips. Might need to do that anyway. Either that, or I’d have to hold you up. You’d be too low for me to reach you properly.” Rey made a soft noise as he kissed her neck again. “You like the sound of that? Me holding your little hips up so I can fuck you the way you deserve? Fill you up with my cum, nice and full, hmm?”

“Ben,” she said, voice breaking at the rush of heat going through her again. Damn this man and his ability to know exactly what to say and do to get her going. She arched, grinding back against him and smiling when he let out a low groan at the friction.

“Alright, sweetheart.” He began pulling away from her, leaving her whining a little. He didn’t let go of her though and pulled her to lie flat on the bed instead.

Her head was on the mattress as Ben grabbed a couple pillows and lifted her up to stuff them under her with ease. The position left her hips higher than her head, her legs spread once again to Ben’s eager gaze. Usually, this would be the point where he steps away to get a condom, but that would defeat the purpose. It was both strange and thrilling to see him knee-walk between her legs, stroking his long, bare cock to get ready.

He settled her legs around his hips in a perfect embrace. He was too far away to reach, and Rey didn’t know what to do with her hands, so she ended up fisting them into the bedspread on either side of her head. She bit her lip in anticipation as Ben grabbed her hip with one hand and guided himself with the other.

She was still plenty wet enough to ease the way, but Ben was bigger than most—if not all—of her previous partners. She hissed when only the first few hot inches were inside, and he paused immediately. His fingers caressed her hipbone in a comforting sweep. “Alright?”

Rey nodded. “It’s just… a lot.” Ben grinned and Rey kicked him in the ribs, a smile spreading across her own face. “Oh, shut up, you prick.” She laughed a little, but the contraction sent her clenching tighter around Ben and they both gasped. “Wow. Okay, you can go on.”

He proceeded much slower this time, watching her face and stopping at even the barest hint of discomfort. Rey got impatient quickly, though, and tightened her legs around him to pull him flush against her. They groaned in unison when he was fully inside her.

Ben’s hands settled on her waist, pulling her up against him in a tease of his earlier promise. “Fuck. You feel amazing. Like you were made to take this.”

“I never—never considered myself a size queen before this,” Rey said. She rolled her back to ease out the tension, breathing through the delicious stretch. “May have to reconsider.”

Ben chuckled, leaning over her a little to look her in the eyes. “You really know how to stroke a man’s ego, you know that?”

Rey grinned and wagged her eyebrows. “I know how to stroke something alright.”

Ben bent down to rest his head on her chest as he laughed, a full belly laugh that should have been out of place given their current situation, but it just felt right. Rey released the bed spread to comb her fingers through Ben’s hair, sighing and tipping her head back as he shifted his hips and planted a few kisses between her breasts.

“God, why didn’t we do this sooner?” he asked.

Rey couldn’t think of an answer; partially because the question sent a rush of both regret and fondness through her, but also because Ben chose that moment to plant a fist in the bed next to her and pull out.

The slow thrust in stole Rey’s breath from her lungs, and she knew her eyes were rolling. It was like Ben’s dick was touching every single nerve inside Rey, stroking and filling to perfection. She shivered with pleasure, legs twitching around Ben’s hips, and she honestly couldn’t tell if she had just cum again or if the pressure was just that good.

“Oh my god, _Ben.”_

He rose from her chest with one lingering kiss next to her nipple and met her eye. He wasn’t laughing anymore. His mouth was open, eyes soft and dark as he took in her expression. He looked like he was about to say something, but then decided against it. Before Rey could ask about it, he sat up, took her hips in hand again, and started up a steady, perfect rhythm.

Rey was gasping, her hands falling from Ben’s hair to reach for anything that could ground her. The sound of their bodies meeting was the perfect metronome to the symphony of her surprised little moans and Ben’s deep, rumbling hums. She squeezed her eyes shut, unable to bear the sight of him above her, desire and something darker behind his eyes. Her hands found one of the remaining pillows that had been knocked askew by their coupling and she pulled it to her. She turned her face into it, fists white knuckling into the fabric as she hid her face and her moans.

It worked, for a few moments. Then Ben paused, pulled out, and thrust back in with a force that had Rey jolting and pulling away from the pillow with a wordless cry.

He stopped, fully inside her as she arched up against him for more friction. Her clit was _almost_ close enough to rub against his pubic bone, but not quite. She whined, turning back to her pillow before it was ripped out of her hands.

“None of that,” he said when she whined again. He pushed the pillow out of her reach and ran his short fingernails down her side, grinning as she squirmed. “You make such pretty noises for me. I want to hear what this is doing to you. I want to remember _this_.”

She groaned in frustration. “God, you’re such a—” He tugged one of her legs over his shoulder and used it as leverage to speed up his thrusts, cutting off her reply. “Fuck!”

Ben let out a stilted laugh between thrusts, squeezing her thighs tighter. He looked entirely too pleased with himself, Rey decided, so she arched her hips and purposefully clenched down. He faltered, his smile slipping as his laugh ended in a groan. He resumed his thrusts quickly, though. She laughed breathlessly and did it again, just to remind him who was calling the shots.

Soon, she felt her third—fourth? —orgasm approaching with certainty and gasped Ben’s name to get his attention. “I’m close.”

It had been a long time—a very long time—since she had come from internal stimulation alone, but she was sure she could get there with Ben plowing into her like he was born to do it.

She didn’t need to find out if she could cum with just the feeling of his cock rubbing all the right places inside her, because Ben—the saint—reached down and began thumbing at her clit in time with his thrusts.

“Me too, darling,” he gasped, kissing the delicate bones of her ankle where it rested by his head.

Her mouth fell open, eyes locked on his without hesitation as she panted toward release, clenching down on him over and over to hear his breath catch and feel her walls tighten around him. He leaned down and planted his fist on the bed again, bending her leg back toward her chest, and the new angle stole all her breath.

“Is that it, sweetheart?” he asked, voice soft and breathy. “Is that what you need?”

“Yes!” she answered without delay. She grabbed his arm beside her for fear that she would float away without something to hold her down. “Ben, Ben, Ben!”

A growl tore its way out of Ben’s throat, and he pressed the heel of his hand against her clit, letting the rocking of his hips rub him against her in all the right ways.

She was right on the edge, only holding on by a thread, waiting for—

“Rey!”

Ben’s fingers dug into the soft flesh of her lower stomach, leaving half-moon marks from his fingernails. A rush of heat filled Rey, and his hips were rubbing his palm against her clit and then Rey was _flying._

If she thought cumming on Ben’s tongue was heavenly, then cumming on his cock was utterly divine. She was only aware of herself enough to feel the way her body tried to clamp shut around Ben and hear him moaning into her ear as she tightened around him. She didn’t know what noises she was making, other than high-pitched gasps of his name.

Her eyes rolled back, her back arched, and she was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She wouldn’t really be disappointed if she was pregnant just after one time. Okay, well. Maybe she would be a little disappointed. Baby daddy or not, Ben was the best fuck she’d had in years. He was certainly the best cis man she’d slept with in… not to be dramatic, but probably ever. She wanted to ask how he was so good, how he knew exactly what she needed, but didn’t know how to bring it up without feeling pervy. Still, it certainly wouldn’t be the end of the world if they had to try again.
> 
> And again.
> 
> And again.

When she came back to herself, they were in the same position, mostly.

Ben’s head was resting on her chest again, his soft breaths warming her already hot skin. Her legs were back around his waist, and she could feel the cramp in her thigh where he’d folded her in half. His hands were running up her legs, her sides, her arms, anywhere he could reach without sitting up. He was still inside her, slowly softening. She realized with a gasp that he was keeping his cum inside her, trying to get it to stay put as long as possible.

He heard her gasp and picked up his head to look at her. What he must have seen on her face made him reach down and touch her cheek. “Hi.”

That little word, so innocent, made her smile. “Hi.”

“You’re incredible.”

Rey flushed, which was stupid, considering she was literally full of his cum. “Thanks,” she said lamely. “You did all the work.”

He snorted and leaned in to kiss her. She realized that this was the first time he had kissed her since they entered the bedroom. Somehow it seemed too intimate now. He pulled back after a moment and reached around her to tug the pillows free. She fell flat on the bed, and the shift made them both hiss.

“Am I good to pull out?”

She nodded slowly, smoothing a hand from her forehead to her sweaty hair. “Yeah. You can’t really do anything more, anyhow.”

He gave a dirty little grin and propped himself up on his hands. “Can’t do any harm though, right?”

Now she was the one snorting. She smacked him lightly on the arm and let the humor of the moment ease her through the discomfort of him pulling out.

It was too much sensation, in a bad way, but it was over quickly. Ben sat up and rolled off the bed to head for the bathroom. Rey took stock while he was gone.

Her hips were aching, but that felt right. She would be sore in the morning, for sure. Other than that, she was sweaty and nearly exhausted. Emotionally, she was… Well, she wasn’t doing poorly. Mainly she was preoccupied with both the feeling and the thought of Ben’s cum inside her. Was that it? Would this be a one-and-one deal?

She wouldn’t really be disappointed if she was pregnant just after one time. Okay, well. Maybe she would be a little disappointed. Baby daddy or not, Ben was the best fuck she’d had in years. He was certainly the best cis man she’d slept with in… not to be dramatic, but probably _ever_. She wanted to ask how he was so good, how he knew exactly what she needed, but didn’t know how to bring it up without feeling pervy. Still, it certainly wouldn’t be the end of the world if they had to try again.

And again.

And again.

Ben came back into the room. He had grabbed his boxers before he left the room, so she was now the only one fully naked. Though she was still sweaty, she shivered a little.

“Here,” he said, handing her a warm washcloth. “Get the worst of it with this, but you should probably…”

“Yeah,” she said. She sat up and took the cloth from him. She wiped her face and the worst of the sweat away, but she couldn’t reach between her legs while sitting. She levered herself to her knees and found them shaky but usable. Taking that as a good sign, she crawled to the edge of the bed and tried to stand.

Keyword: _tried_.

Her legs gave out, shaking, as soon as she put weight on them. And to put a cherry on top, Ben’s cum started sliding down her thighs at the same time. She let out an embarrassed, exasperated noise and tried to right herself against the bed while worming a hand between her legs to try and stop the dripping.

Luckily—or unluckily, Rey wasn’t sure—Ben was still standing and was at her side in an instant. She wanted to push him away, assure him that she was a strong, independent woman and didn’t need his help. Considering A: she literally _did_ need his help to get pregnant, and B: her legs were now shaking violently, her hand useless against the flow of Ben’s cum.

His arms slid behind her back and her knees and swooped her into the air. Her legs stopped shaking, mostly, but she kept her hand where it was out of fear of making a mess. She hid her burning face against Ben’s neck as he carried her to the bathroom.

He granted her the dignity of setting her on her feet beside the toilet and letting her sit down herself. He turned back to the door, his face red. “Yell for me when you’re done,” he said, eyes anywhere but on her. “I want to help you wash up.”

She nodded, easing herself onto the toilet after he shut the door. She finally moved her hand and went about her business. She cleaned what she could, though the more she wiped, the more cum came out. The trickle was much slower now, but it was certainly a feeling she would have to get used to.

She stood, putting most of her weight on the counter as she did so. She flushed the toilet and looked at herself in the mirror. Though her stomach was rolling with nerves and something that wasn’t quite regret, she was pleased with what she saw.

Her hair was an absolute mess and her face was still bright red, but there were little marks all over her. Her neck was littered with tiny love bites, and the one big one Ben had left on her when they were in the kitchen. There was another bite on the inside of her left breast, and she wasn’t quite sure when he managed that one, but she shivered and smiled when she pressed her fingers against it to feel the ache. Her thighs were also riddled in tiny red marks, and a few brighter red splotches where he’d gripped her.

She was a mess, and she was kind of obsessed with it.

She had briefly considered not yelling for him like he’d asked, but she didn’t want to offend him. Besides, now that she knew she didn’t look horrendous, she was okay with him seeing her again. She hoped he liked the marks as much as she did.

“Ben?” she called, raising her voice a bit.

The door opened right away, so she felt a little silly for calling out so loudly. His gaze swept over her as soon as he entered, shutting the door behind him. When he was assured she was all in one piece, he nodded, still looking a bit awkward. “Good. You’re standing.”

Rey chuckled. “Barely.”

“It’s an improvement, though.” He took a step closer, looking a bit surer of himself. Rey reached out a hand and he came to her immediately, stepping into her space and winding his hands around her waist. Her arms came up around his shoulders, so he was propping her up a little. “Are you steady enough for a shower, or should I run a bath.”

“Shower,” she said. “I’m exhausted. I just want to get clean and go to sleep. I may need some help staying conscious, though.”

“I’ve got you,” Ben said, laughing and pulling her closer so she was standing on his feet. She almost apologized for stepping on him before she realized that was his intention. He walked them over to the shower.

She leaned on him as he started the water and set the temperature, then went with him as he stepped beneath the spray. He turned them so her back was to the nozzle, and she sighed as the hot water ran down her back.

“Temperature good?”

She nodded and let go of him to start rinsing out her hair. He gave her some room but kept a hand on her in case she lost her strength again. They switched places so he could rinse off while Rey ran some conditioner through her hair to get out the tangles.

He turned her around and worked the knots out of her hair with his fingers. Rey relaxed into his touch for a moment before speaking. “Ben.”

He hummed softly.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“I know,” he said. She felt his breath on her shoulder for a moment like he was going to kiss her there again, but then he stopped. He moved her back to rinse the conditioner out of her hair. “I want to. I don’t want you to slip and fall or anything. You’re still a little shaky.”

She giggled. “Sorry about that. That’s never happened before.”

He used his grip on her hair to tilt her head back, so she was looking him in the eye. She stopped laughing. “Don’t apologize,” he said. “Just lets me know I did a good job.”

She hoped the heat of the shower would excuse her flushed cheeks. “You did.” Her voice was quiet as she leaned back into him. His hands released her hair and slipped around her waist to hold her against him. “Thank you, Ben.”

“Don’t thank me.” Now he did press a kiss to her shoulder, and he rested his cheek there for a moment before speaking. “You have no idea how hot it was.”

“Yeah Ben,” she said, tilting her head to encourage him to kiss her more. “I was there.”

He snorted but obeyed her silent command for more kisses. “No, I mean after.” He kissed away the droplets of water clinging to her freckled shoulder. “The shaking legs. The weakness. The way you tried to keep from making a mess.” His lips found their way to the shell of her ear, and she shivered. “You have no fucking clue what it did to me to see you like that.”

Rey’s body throbbed with heat as one last trickle of cum trailed down her thigh. “Ben.” Her voice was rough, and she tried to hide it with a chuckle. “Let’s have this conversation in the morning, hmm? I don’t think I could handle any more tonight.”

Ben let out a playful little growl, teasing her with the barest scrape of teeth against her. The combined sensation was enough to elicit a full-body shudder. It was enough to distract her from the fact that she’d just offered to let him stay the night, despite not discussing it beforehand. “Fine,” he said, putting a little distance between them. “In the morning. Maybe I can make you shake like that again, hmm?”

Rey shoved him to hide the fact that she was very, _very_ into that idea.


End file.
